This might just be me, and my knack for standing in the wrong places, but I have lately found that when people space off that I happen to be right in the line of fire for their eyes...
Not only does this give the impression that they are judging me for whatever I just said, because what I said probably was in need of a little judging anyway, but it's a little creepy. If you ever are in the way of someones gaze as they go into that contemplative mode, and if you can handle it without reacting in the same way as Belloq did at the end of the Raiders of the Lost Ark, you can find some interesting things happening there...
First, there is the blank stare, you could probably do anything right there in front of them and they would not have any idea what just happened. Then you have the eye pop, this is one of the creepy things that happen inadvertently but you don't normally notice because people tend to look down when spacing out, but it reminds me of a Letterman show that I saw once where a lady popped her eyes out as a stupid human trick, and it haunted me as a kid, and still haunts me now, but I find some enjoyment out of it anyways...
Well if you want to really mess with someone, you could try and move something substantial around while they are spacing off and see if they notice, or just trip over it like Dick Van Dike in his show. Although keep in mind that you have a small window, so setting up an elaborate way to kill them might not work...
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
Escalator ecstasy...
I don't have much to say but this, I love escalators!...
On days that I get to go to the bank, I get to enjoy the only escalator in all of the little town of Moscow, and I almost have a hernia because I get so excited...
The escalator is one of the most mellow machines in the world. It stays in one place, moving at one speed, not caring if the people on it are in a rush to go somewhere or just a kid continually riding up and down it for fun or the poor old guy that got confused and is going nowhere trying to go up the down and is too senile to give in to his family trying to convince him that he is on the wrong one...
They are a reminder to all that is a cry to slow down our busy selves. I will never again walk up, or down, an escalator. There is too much stuff that you can do in the meantime, plan your next date(HA), think about life, ponder the meaning of life, or just have a moment to not think at all. And as for all the people that are behind you? keep them there, let them share in this ride of wonderful fulfillment...
So next time you are lucky enough to take a ride on an escalator, don't just walk up it like any other staircase that you will encounter, let it do it's job and take you, at that wonderfully slow pace, to the destination it's there for...
On days that I get to go to the bank, I get to enjoy the only escalator in all of the little town of Moscow, and I almost have a hernia because I get so excited...
The escalator is one of the most mellow machines in the world. It stays in one place, moving at one speed, not caring if the people on it are in a rush to go somewhere or just a kid continually riding up and down it for fun or the poor old guy that got confused and is going nowhere trying to go up the down and is too senile to give in to his family trying to convince him that he is on the wrong one...
They are a reminder to all that is a cry to slow down our busy selves. I will never again walk up, or down, an escalator. There is too much stuff that you can do in the meantime, plan your next date(HA), think about life, ponder the meaning of life, or just have a moment to not think at all. And as for all the people that are behind you? keep them there, let them share in this ride of wonderful fulfillment...
So next time you are lucky enough to take a ride on an escalator, don't just walk up it like any other staircase that you will encounter, let it do it's job and take you, at that wonderfully slow pace, to the destination it's there for...
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Memories of ignored missed meetings...
since I have been thinking lately about seeing people on the street a lot, I have encountered a new problem...
There are many times when you are sitting at a table, or on a couch in a coffee house or restaurant, when a friend struts up and slaps you upside the knee, and wants to know why you didn't wave to them yesterday while you were walking down the street and they drove by? They even honked at you!...
And as you stare up pensively at the ceiling and the wavy squiggles that so often accompany past thoughts and the move to remember them, cloud your vision and you start to see that moment clearly, as waking from a short nights rest and groggily moving about your room... You remember, a clown now, and you were riding a monkey, no wait, he was riding you, and the fire hydrant was gushing out zebras all over the side of the new firetruck that had a latter made from cigarettes, and there was a man, oh what a horrible looking man, wearing a purple coat that ran all the way down to China, and the buttons on the coat were neon lights that burned your eyes... Oh wait that was the dream you had last night...
Now you remember, down on the corner of Third and Graymore St. You saw a car, it kind of look liked the car that your friend drives, but everyone in this town drives that make a model, and red is the most popular color too. More than that, even if it was your friend, you can't tell because there is a huge glare from the sky hitting the windshield obstructing your view of the driver. So you ignore it, for surely it isn't your friend. even when you hear a honk, and someone yelling something, you ignore it thinking to yourself, "people these days are just so impatient, they can't wait for anything, honk honk honk, move move move, go go go, yell yell yell, shut up and learn that the rest of the world isn't quite as great as you are yet..."
Reality returns..."Oh that was you?" you say in a "I'm so stupid I didn't even notice that there was a scene going on at all" voice. "Yeah that was me!" is their reply, like it makes any difference now, you still ignored them then and you wish you could be ignoring them right now...
There are many times when you are sitting at a table, or on a couch in a coffee house or restaurant, when a friend struts up and slaps you upside the knee, and wants to know why you didn't wave to them yesterday while you were walking down the street and they drove by? They even honked at you!...
And as you stare up pensively at the ceiling and the wavy squiggles that so often accompany past thoughts and the move to remember them, cloud your vision and you start to see that moment clearly, as waking from a short nights rest and groggily moving about your room... You remember, a clown now, and you were riding a monkey, no wait, he was riding you, and the fire hydrant was gushing out zebras all over the side of the new firetruck that had a latter made from cigarettes, and there was a man, oh what a horrible looking man, wearing a purple coat that ran all the way down to China, and the buttons on the coat were neon lights that burned your eyes... Oh wait that was the dream you had last night...
Now you remember, down on the corner of Third and Graymore St. You saw a car, it kind of look liked the car that your friend drives, but everyone in this town drives that make a model, and red is the most popular color too. More than that, even if it was your friend, you can't tell because there is a huge glare from the sky hitting the windshield obstructing your view of the driver. So you ignore it, for surely it isn't your friend. even when you hear a honk, and someone yelling something, you ignore it thinking to yourself, "people these days are just so impatient, they can't wait for anything, honk honk honk, move move move, go go go, yell yell yell, shut up and learn that the rest of the world isn't quite as great as you are yet..."
Reality returns..."Oh that was you?" you say in a "I'm so stupid I didn't even notice that there was a scene going on at all" voice. "Yeah that was me!" is their reply, like it makes any difference now, you still ignored them then and you wish you could be ignoring them right now...
Monday, January 11, 2010
"long distance" conversations?...
I love walking down main street and stopping to talk to people that I know. Nice little conversations that don't add up to much interest, like the state of the presidential offices running of our country or the weather that we had last night...
But every once in a while you tent to have a moment when you run into someone when you are both stopped on opposite sides of the street waiting for the walk signal to start...
Here you are, stuck on one side of the road, with your friend on the other, you know that you will pass in the middle, but how much time does that give you to really say anything to each other before you need to be out of the way of that 7up truck barreling down the road hoping that the light turns green before he gets there because his brakes were cut by some fiendish fiend trying to rid the world of 7up once and for all...
Well anyway, first there is the initial wave to them as soon as eye contact is made, frantic and a little over enthusiastic, like a boy that has just found a ten dollar bill outside of the candy store. Then there is a moment where you try and say something to them, but have to raise your voice loader and loader to overcome the traffic passing by like a stampede of wild animals, bleating and honking as they go by, and everything you say is washed away into the rushing swarm moving by. And so you wait, maybe with a few hand signals to each other, it brings to mind the scene from 2001 a space odyssey with the monkeys. Then there comes the moment when you finally have a chance to have a word with your friend, and as you slowly make your way across the street thinking of the things that you could say, then moment comes...
As you come close enough to ask a question of real importance they strike if off with a "how are you?" you reply, "good, good, and you?" "oh I'm just fine." With these formalities out of the way you are clear to ask the question that you have been thinking of asking for the last ten minutes... But wait, those stupid formalities have cost you the chance to really talk to the person about anything, and now you are already on the other side of the road, looking back at your friend who is off to their next appointment. A sigh is heaved and you go on your way...
If you think about it though, what would be the point of a grandiose question asked in this moment? "Hey Timmy, what do you think of the presidential nomination of the candidacy for the president of that country in the middle east?"... Not only would you not have the time to complete your sentence, but when it comes out, your friend, and the other people walking across the street might think that your a little off your rocker for asking such a complex question when you are crossing the street...
But every once in a while you tent to have a moment when you run into someone when you are both stopped on opposite sides of the street waiting for the walk signal to start...
Here you are, stuck on one side of the road, with your friend on the other, you know that you will pass in the middle, but how much time does that give you to really say anything to each other before you need to be out of the way of that 7up truck barreling down the road hoping that the light turns green before he gets there because his brakes were cut by some fiendish fiend trying to rid the world of 7up once and for all...
Well anyway, first there is the initial wave to them as soon as eye contact is made, frantic and a little over enthusiastic, like a boy that has just found a ten dollar bill outside of the candy store. Then there is a moment where you try and say something to them, but have to raise your voice loader and loader to overcome the traffic passing by like a stampede of wild animals, bleating and honking as they go by, and everything you say is washed away into the rushing swarm moving by. And so you wait, maybe with a few hand signals to each other, it brings to mind the scene from 2001 a space odyssey with the monkeys. Then there comes the moment when you finally have a chance to have a word with your friend, and as you slowly make your way across the street thinking of the things that you could say, then moment comes...
As you come close enough to ask a question of real importance they strike if off with a "how are you?" you reply, "good, good, and you?" "oh I'm just fine." With these formalities out of the way you are clear to ask the question that you have been thinking of asking for the last ten minutes... But wait, those stupid formalities have cost you the chance to really talk to the person about anything, and now you are already on the other side of the road, looking back at your friend who is off to their next appointment. A sigh is heaved and you go on your way...
If you think about it though, what would be the point of a grandiose question asked in this moment? "Hey Timmy, what do you think of the presidential nomination of the candidacy for the president of that country in the middle east?"... Not only would you not have the time to complete your sentence, but when it comes out, your friend, and the other people walking across the street might think that your a little off your rocker for asking such a complex question when you are crossing the street...
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Moving to the Music...
So I was working the past week by myself, and the days were going by relatively slower that they normally do, this might have been due to me messing around a little bit more than normal. Yet just the other day I brought some new CD's to listen to, and I realized something strange, you, or at least I, seem to work faster when you listen to more upbeat music...
It is true that I was listening to upbeat music. Not the kind of upbeat music that has a grin larger than any face can really handle on it, and causes little old ladies to run screaming in terror thinking that you are some kind of creeper...
No it was more of what I would call "angry music." And the angry music that I was listening to was a kind of catalyst for a quicker pace in me getting my job done. It did bring something to my head too, a head ache because of all the head banging that I was doing as a result of rocking out...
I thought to myself after this revelation, "why do offices insist on listening to stations like 99.9?" if any of you remember that station, I'm sorry... Really, if you want to have productivity rocket through the roof, pump in some angry punk or death rock, at least stop the "classy radio station" from causing employees to commit suicide because there was too much Celine Dion leaking it to their brains...
It is true that I was listening to upbeat music. Not the kind of upbeat music that has a grin larger than any face can really handle on it, and causes little old ladies to run screaming in terror thinking that you are some kind of creeper...
No it was more of what I would call "angry music." And the angry music that I was listening to was a kind of catalyst for a quicker pace in me getting my job done. It did bring something to my head too, a head ache because of all the head banging that I was doing as a result of rocking out...
I thought to myself after this revelation, "why do offices insist on listening to stations like 99.9?" if any of you remember that station, I'm sorry... Really, if you want to have productivity rocket through the roof, pump in some angry punk or death rock, at least stop the "classy radio station" from causing employees to commit suicide because there was too much Celine Dion leaking it to their brains...
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