Happy birthdays...

I don't really like my birthday... Most people LOVE their birthday, a time to be the center of attention, make people that they rarely see, buy them something "just because"... I find it an abuse of life...

Well to the point of writing for the day, I was looking at a facebook profile of someone that I know, and it happens to be their day of birth today... Well as I scrolled down the wall of their page, I saw it was littered with people that I am sure, or at least I would bet my leg (up-to the kneecap), that most of them don't talk to this person but once in a very long while... All of the posts were the same in essence, "Happy Birthday" some with an exclamation after, some retardedly with multiple vowels and consonants in them, some with the name, as if making sure that we get our signals clear, and others sounding redundant by also wishing that their day goes well...

Well this got me to thinking, mostly because I don't care that much for my own day of the birthing, what if that person was in fact having the worst day of their life, at least up to the moment... Is that just rubbing it in a little bit more than needed? here this person is, bitterly, moodily plodding their way through a day, which in fact is their birthing day (that perhaps has become a new favorite phrase), as some jolly bimbo, skipping as though is was a munchkin from the land of Oz and the wicked witch has just bit it, comes of and says in a rather overly gay, and that is the 40's sense of the word, "Happy Birthday, I hope you enjoy it to the fullest, and keep up your growing!"...

Ok, at this point, or at least when this gay "friend" gets the look of pure evil mixed with a strange grin of those who have more recently gone insane, they should know to run for their puny lives... Well that is what I think anyway...

Try this out, at least you are guaranteed to get them to respond back to you, tell them to "have a normal day, you don't know why this is the day for normality, but it seems just as good as any other."...

"Five second rule" to puking...

I was thinking about food... Where it comes from, who it is that prepares it for me, and where it has been before I got hold of it...

I have been a slave in the food industry for a rather large portion of my life, and have seen and heard about things that I will defiantly not tell you about... but it is not the gross things that I know that happen to food that I was thinking about, but rather those people that refuse to touch food that have had anything happen to it...

So first you have to look at it from the viewpoint of the picky person. Ok, yes, it is gross if there has been something dropped on the floor, or you have found a hair in your food. That makes most people lose their appetite right off, so fast that even the Big Bang couldn't keep up with it...

Now think of it from the cooks point of view. Something falls on the floor, HEY five second rule, right? And it isn't like they play hide the hair in the soup game... And even when they find a slug on the fresh lettuce, wash it off and call it good. from a cooks standpoint the rule is, if I would eat it, it's ok...

So then we get down to the real truth of the matter, the part that would have that picky eater puking everything that he has ever eaten in their life back out, the truth that makes small girls cry and little boys stair in awe... The farmers side of the food tale...

Mental walk through: you go to a farm and see all the animals that the farmer is growing for food, and are only told, not shown, that they will soon be providing you with the beef for your burgers next Friday... Cool you think and thank the cow for it's brave sacrifice to a growing nation and go home rather hungrier than you should be... But as soon as you are gone the farmer goes to work... There are few that have seen a cow being slaughtered in real life, and the details of the goings on are not of an appropriate rating for this blog... You can just imagine a slasher movie, with the outcome being that a fat man gets to eat something...

Anyways, the Idea is that there is a whole lot more to what goes on in producing the food that we eat every day... then there is my theory that we are eating dead bodies all the time, but you can ask me about that at a later time...

And by the way, you can't spell slaughter without laughter...

Talking to yourself...

It was once said to me that "talking to yourself is the first step to madness." Well I just walked off and told myself a good joke about just that very thing...

I don't know about the rest of the population of this world, but it seems that there is a lack of persons conversing with themselves in this day and age. I do it all the time...

There are some great side effects that come from this action... 1) I find it easier to remember things when I have a brisk talk to myself about the subject and I find that I and myself agree on it. 2) If you happen to be walking down a crowded street or boardwalk, most people will look up at and try and see if they are supposed to know you from somewhere, this can be applied as a game on a dull day (Each person that looks at you in such a way is considered a point, the score to beat in seventy-two). 3) And finally, even the craziest of loons will think that you are off your big red rocker and keep a safe distance from your approaching danger...

If you have become bored of your daily routine and want some more zing to your day, I suggest you try a good long talking to yourself...