Little matters...

Every once in a while we do something bad that we will remember for the rest of our days never to do again...

I'm not talking about the times when you shoot someone and sit there and think about it until you come to the conclusion that that was a bad idea after all and you should refrain from and further shooting of friends from now on. No it is about littler matters than that...

For instance, when you are done taking a shower and you turn off the water and revolve around to the curtain to see it has lots of little friendly water droplets all over it. Then the thought strikes you, 'I could knock all those down if I just hit that curtain with my hand!'... And with a giggle and a small dance in the tub to celebrate you brain for thinking of this new wonderful idea you hit the shower curtain like the child you are...

And as the drops hit you, you remember all the little laws of the world. That those little drops have been giving all the heat that they once held for you to the dang curtain, and are now cold, oh so very cold...

These are some of the things that we do that we will remember never to do again, slap the water off the shower curtain while you're still in it, not smart. Next time you get that childish feeling to do something similar to this, think it through for a minute first...

BP...

Travesty, something that has been grotesquely misrepresentation of something...

So with this definition in mind I would like to have a small discussion about clothing. There is a travesty in the clothing industry of the world. It comes in the form of the color "Barney Purple" (BP), and is straight out of the eighties, and would do better returning to the grave in which i died in...

Barney Purple, I did make this name up, but it is intended to differentiate itself from other colors of purples that are out there. Most purple is ok, and looks good on girls, but that one color is a degradation of the soul, I can't see how they don't feel the pulling down of there self image while wearing it...

So here is my plea to all the girls that have a shirt in this horrid color, burn in. As a witch on a stake in olden times, burn it. And if you happen to see one hanging in the discount section of Ross, Goodwill, or Salvation Army, do the rest of the world a favor and purchase it to burn and purge the world of this Travesty of fashion...

Insults...

When an argument gets heated and boils down to just throwing insults at one another to try and make the other one run to a corner and cry, there is a surefire insult that is made to have everyone from little children to grown adults swimming away in the river of tears that they are crying...

You might know a bit of what I am talking about. Here are some of the typical insults that are thrown around:

You Mom, this is a good one, because everyone at some point had a mother and most moms are looked up to, so this can be like a kick in the groin...

Dummy, this is a little childish, but I believe that most everyone has had a nagging feeling in the back of their head that they aren't as bright as they think, so this is more of a good hefty smack on the back of the head...

Loser, commonly misused insult, most people aren't at the top of anything, so really you are stating a fact about their life rather than insulting them, only use this if you are fighting with a professional athlete that has recently had an article published about him that claimed that he is the best thing since no iron bed sheets...

There are many other insults that are running about free in this world, and maybe you have used some of them, but as I said before, there is one that tops them all... Are you ready for this? can you handle it? You better go and get yourself a few buckets and towels in case you start to weep copious amounts of tears...

Here it is: Your other mom!

OH can you feel the heartache from that one? I'm crying just writing this... Ok so I don't really suggest using this insult unless you have some extra time on you hands for cleanup... Fluids tend to run wild when this, oh so sensitive subject is brought up... So be warned, use only on your worst enemies...